busy again

Well I'm busy again, thank God, darnit.

I have suddenly started getting a surge of small sites. This is good. These are independent of agencies that I work with, these are all mine, and I like it. It is exciting to get a variety of projects, though -- I work well with a lot of variety.

They are keeping me busy though. I'm hoping that my life doesn't become another endless series of long days with no reprieve.

In my last audio post, I mentioned that the baby had flipped. This was great news. Nancy is hoping that the baby drops soon, so the likelihood of flipping back over is reduced.

I went to San Antonio this past weekend for a very quick trip to do some business. It looks as though I will get some work, I'm not sure how much yet, but any is welcome.

The hurricane missed San Antonio completely, and the only effect we felt was an intense heatwave brought up by Rita. I got to enjoy record heat while I was there.

Fall is here now in Colorado. I had hoped to get out and do some exploring in the mountains while the leaves were changing, but that feels impossible right now with work and the baby coming.

Nancy is scheduled to be induced on Monday, October 10. She is taking blood-thinning medication during her pregnancy, and needs to be off meds for at least a week in order to deliver. Once the baby is born they want her to get right back on the medication, which is why they scheduled an induction.

That day is coming fast...

I met with the Pastor of Peak yesterday to discuss starting a new young adult service during the week. He is fully behind it. We also discussed some of my favorite reading: Community 101. He has read it and has the same (very positive) reaction to it that I do. We had a great talk, and I look forward to meeting with him more to discuss the direction of the church.

Hurricane Rita

(image from the National Weather Service)

Southern Texas is in for a beating this weekend.

You may not know this, but I was born in San Antonio, Texas. If you look on the map of the hurricane path you will see a red star right at the edge of the projected path of the hurricane. That's San Antonio. You may also notice a second red star up in the left-hand corner; that's Fort Collins, CO -- where I live. And finally, you may notice a red arrow pointing to San Antonio part way between Fort Collins and San Antonio. That is where my plane is scheduled to be this Saturday around 9PM CST en route to San Antonio.

That means that if my flight has not been cancelled, I will be hitting San Antonio about the same time as Hurricane Rita.

Awesome. :P

Fear, abandonment, lies and an invitation

I really don't have time to be posting right now, and there is so much bubbling around in my skull I will probably revisit this post later, but I need to get some things out.

I think 3 of the enemy's most effective tools against us are fear, feeling abandoned, and lies. As you may have read in recent posts I am feeling alone these days. I just found out last night that one of our closest [proximity and relationship] friends has been dealing with some crippling psychological attacks lately -- related largely to fear. I can't go into great detail, but part of the need in their life is to be near friends.

I have not called to check in on this friend for a few weeks, just sort of assuming that life in general is OK. They haven't been at church and the last time I saw them they were hurrying out the doors of church and I couldn't talk to them.

They affirmed that they need people in their life, and here I am, feeling sorry for myself and how alone I am. I pretty much suck.

Then I have "reasons" that I shouldn't have called or whatever, one of which is the fact that this friend is a woman and I don't want to "appear" ________ [not sure what word would go in the blank]. While I firmly admit that I am a fallen person fully capable of sin, and think having a healthy awareness of that potential is wise, I was letting fear of appearances keep me from reaching out when I felt prompted to.

My sucking-ness aside, this was a pretty poignant illustration of me succumbing to the enemy's tactics and becoming crippled as a result. What's more, I've allowed a close friend to slip into a prison of sorts and haven't done a useful thing to help.

To quote an old, old spiritual song from Stryper: "To hell with the devil!" and more importantly, "To hell with my excuses and fear."

So that's the general crud I needed to get out. Here's something that is completely random and may be of no use to anyone. I use Gmail for some of my email communication. My primary email is john@daharsh.net, but a great free email service is Google's Gmail. It has more storage than most of the other services (although I'm hearing that Yahoo's redone mail service is awesome) -- and you can currently store 2.5 GB (yes Gigabytes) of mail and attachments for free. The way it works is pretty slick -- it tracks all your email conversations as actual conversations making it easy to carry on a -- well, conversation over email. It also searches your email really well (c'mon, it's Google for Pete's sake). If you want a Gmail account it's free but by invitation only. I have 98 invitations left. If you would like a Gmail invitation, let me know by emailing me at daharsh@gmail.com.

you are loved

Cause for concern?

Nancy just came from one of her many visits to the doctor. Apparently the baby's head is not down, which is not a good thing. This is not a terribly uncommon thing to happen, but it means that she will need to for an ultrasound to confirm that the baby is inverted. If it is confirmed that the baby is head-up, she will need to go in next week and they will try to flip the baby manually, which involves a lot of pushing around of Nancy's abdomen -- which I have heard can be an unpleasant experience.

If this does not resolve the baby's breech-ness, they will probably look at doing a cesarean section, which is something that Nancy does not want to have happen.

The extra-fun part of this is that Nancy has developed pretty bad back pain in the last week. She was hobbling around all weekend, and has been afraid that she would not be able to work this week.

I tend not to be a worrier. But I certainly don't like this last-minute baby-flipping business either.

This is the stuff of the fall. Not the season of the year, but the "The Fall" as in consequences of sin in the world.

I know there are descriptions of Heaven in the Bible, but in the end we don't know much about what it will really be like. I don't know if there will be babies delivered once we get to eternity, I suspect not – so this is something we can't look forward to again. We think this is our last child, so that means that once this is done that we will never again get to go through this process.

It's a paradox that we get to experience the joy of watching a new life develop in such a fallen, dangerous world.

Great old color photos

1943 Cars and Trucks in front of the US Army Consolidation Station. This is one of literally thousands of photos on the Library of Congress "American Memory" site. Here's a link to the browse page -- I found this one under Photos, Prints >> Depression Era to World War II -- 1935-1945. I didn't even realize color photography was around in the early part of the century. Part of the fun is trying to understand the way the system works, it's complicated to say the least.

We're better, baby is coming, I miss people

The colds have subsided. Emma is well into kindergarten now. Corben is still 2.

I have just launched a small web site for High Tide Ranch in Steamboat. I used some of my photographs for the site (the waterfall and columbine are mine). Nancy and I will try and take more trips out there, Steamboat is pretty amazing and the Bunkhouse is cool.

Nancy is due the 15th of October (somehow the date is 1 day sooner than we were originally told) although they will likely induce her a week early since she has had high risk deliveries for both the other kids. That means in under a month there will be another little one and our lives will be really... interesting.

I'm feeling the need to connect with people on a pretty deep emotional level. Intimacy, I think, is what I am longing for. I have been talking a lot lately with our college group and the high schoolers about how Christ's sacrifice is to redeem us not only back to God but back to one another. About how we all have a deep longing to be in intimate, authentic relationships with others, and how that is only possible through the redemptive work of Christ.

Nancy and I are well. I have been trying to get a date with her for the past week or so, but it isn't materializing yet. Getting a sitter shouldn't be this big a deal. I feel like we are pretty good, we seem to talk for long periods of time, although the frequency of those conversations could be greater.

Mark and Jackie came up last weekend for a little visit. It was good to see them, but I was hoping we could just hang out all afternoon and evening and into the next day. That's hard to do on a busy weekend when its already Sunday and we all have plans.

There is one friend in particular who seems to be well past arm's length, and I know she is going through some pretty challenging times, and I want to talk with her and share in whatever she has going on. And I can't, and with the way I feel right now that seems especially sad.

These are the days when I long for eternity.

German under water

G'day! This is Steffen. He is a friend from my days at Studio North. Recently he left his native Germany and headed to the Land Down Under with his family. Nancy and I would love to go to Australia and spend some time there with friends of ours. Steffen looks as though he had a pretty good time.

Just a quick update

We missed the wedding. It was pretty disappointing. On the upside, we have 2 tickets that we can travel with later.

Baby is due in something like 6 weeks or 42 days, whichever comes first. October 16 is the due date, but both our others have been a week early, which is why I called Brian today to let him know we won't be at his wedding (October 8).

We're all mostly better. Corben has emerged from the cocoon of his sickness as a psychotic trouble-maker. We pretty much let him get away with whatever he wanted while he was sick (he was so pathetic, we really had no choice) so now he thinks he can do whatever he wants as a healthy child. And he is committed to pushing every button of every family member.

I'm staying busy, trying to tie up loose ends on several projects in preparation for some larger ones that are inbound. One of the sites I built recently finally made it live: Colorado Council on the Arts.

Since Emma has started kindergarten, I have managed to put together a new website for her school in my *free time*. This will allow the school staff and volunteers to make updates any time they want, so they don't have to call me any time they need something changed. They are quickly getting the hang of it and already it is helping communication.

Our new pastor starts this Sunday, and we are excited about having him. I've been able to spend a little time getting to know him and his family, and it's going to be nice to have them at Peak.

We're hoping to see Mark and Jackie this weekend, if our schedules work out.

I need to sleep a little, so I'm going to sign off until later. Leave a comment while you're here, it's always nice to hear from folks.

crazy

Things are getting turned upside down for us all of the sudden. I know to say that, now, when thousands are homeless, sick, and dying a few states away is pretty self-absorbed. It's what I'm living right now and it's how I feel, so I'll explain.

Karl's sister Beth is getting married this weekend in St. Louis. We've been planning on going for months -- every since we heard of the engagement. We've been excited to see our friends, they've been excited to see us. We bought our plane tickets, reserved hotel and car, had friends lined up to watch our kids, the whole deal.

Monday Corben threw up. Tuesday he started coughing and running a fever. Tuesday night he didn't sleep, neither did Nancy nor I -- I think I slept for an hour before dawn. Wendesday he was worse and Nancy took him to the doctor. Wednesday afternoon more fever and more raspy cough. Wednesday night we drugged him (as per the doctor's orders), put the humidifier in his room and we all slept. Today, he has no voice -- at all. He stopped trying at some point and just nods his head or lifts his arms to have us pick him up. This afternoon, more fever, more meds.

So we decided yesterday that if we didn't see marked improvement by today that Nancy was going to stay here. I called the airline, and we can have a credit for another flight -- minus a $100 re-booking fee as long as we call before the flight leaves. I broke the news to Karl this morning, but hey, I'll still be there so at least we can visit.

I've been cramming to tie some projects up before the holiday weekend, so I was working late tonight when I heard footsteps on the landing. I went to investigate and Emma was standing there with a scared look on her face, and as soon as she realized it was me she started freaking out and crying about how she lost her blanket and something else was wrong but she didn't know what and that she was sweaty and that her room looked like it was full of smoke. I assumed she was having a bad dream, so I picked her up, and she was burning up. She had a a fever, and was behaving very erratically until we got some ibuprofen in her.

She went back to sleep a little while ago and will hopefully get some rest.

So in the morning, unless an absolute miracle happens, I'm going to cancel all our reservations and call Karl and break the news that neither of us will be there. And that sucks.